We are growing up. And real fast!

Cannot believe, Sia is now an older child. Cannot believe, we are senior parents. We now have a few junior parents friends and Sia has smaller babus to look after. Already?? We have changed our status? Already?? Really??

"Mama, dada look at me, I am growing bigger and taller." Do I want to listen and respond to this dialogue with the same zeal and enthusiasm? Do I find it super thrilling? Honestly, cross my heart...no!! Logically...that's life - real-time.

My most painful acceptance of Sia growing up, is leaving behind all these moments, which are slowly converting into memories. I am not ready yet, to have these moments as memories. This is THE LIFE that I have known for the last 3 years, 5 months and 8 days (can you see how crankily precise I can get?) I cannot see her as a little girl or a teen or a young woman. We are speaking of another distant era. It is not even in a near future, to imagine and romance.

Another thing about growing up is the mania of SCHOOL ADMISSIONS. We are in the race right now of school hunt, admission forms, fees, distance, CBSE, ICSE and some other terms which didn't figure in my life. I don't get the frenzy. Why is it a big deal? Why do we need to have a drop down list of schools to apply to? Why is it that birth month and date of my child suddenly a deciding factor of her life? Why is it that where we live, an issue for the school? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? And we think only a child can question and bug you with their innumberable and lethal "whys?" I don't think any logical answer will calm me.

These related issues come with growing up. It is nice to know Sia is still unaware of these while she is on her way to becoming a big girl. But soon she will be there. Cos we are growing up. And it is real fast. Add to it, the pure joy of self acknowledgment that "I am a big girl now...I am growing up real fast.." While I don't want to take away the high coming from this sense of self guarantee....all I want to say is, "slow down a bit my gugu baby...I am not ready to grow up as a mama to my little baby."

Revelation

Ok...so I am a 'not-so-nice' mama at times. And I don't want to hide that either. I have my bad moods and temper which get complemented with equally bad, if not worse reactions to my child's 'unacceptable' behaviour.

Last evening after another episode of 'unacceptable' behaviour from my child, I realised that I had confronted the truth of not necessarily being the 'always-happy', 'always-bumming-around' mama who can be walked all over without much thought. Mind you, I quite like that position. I chose to get to the zenith of it. But, it was absolutely necessary for me to rock my own boat. That I am also the 'not-so-nice' mama! I could finally say it to myself and accept it more to myself than necessarily to my child, to her dada or to the world. Let me reveal...I felt wonderful. It was like a whiff of fresh air.

The new morning dawned today. My child didn't show any signs of recalling the episodic tantrum or its side-effects. But I had slightly carried it forward to the morning. Not feeling nice about it, especially since I could not touch the essence or purpose of my life, I pondered. Till I hit upon the definition of my core emotion...'it is OK to be not-so-nice'. There is nothing more or nothing less about that statement. It is just that! Its parallel existence and realisation is what is necessary for me personally to groom myself to grow into a mama my daughter will be happy to have around.

Me a recycle junkie!!

I am recycle junkie!!! I have realised. And I intend to pass on the tradition to my child as well. I am very happy to see streaks of it already present in her, from the seed that has been sown by doing art and craft with biscuit cartons, wrappers, unused side of a printed paper, straws, tissue roll....name it - we have tried it, used it and enjoyed it.

Got some lovely orange carrots the other day. My instant reaction was to make some yummy carrot milkshake. One of my favourite drinks growing up. It is one of the 'firsts' I learned to make all by myself. Now I make it for Sia. She enjoys it too. Thank god for that!

The recycle story begins as I start to make the carrot milkshake. As I peeled the carrots, I realised the peels went into a separate bin - where we collect our "daily wet waste" for our community organic compost. I kept aside the carrot heads to reuse and sow. Perhaps I can harvest some home-balcony-grown-carrots. I am sure Sia would love to recreate the Hundred Acre Wood in her own home. I recycled yogurt cups to sow the carrot heads and some spinach. It feels wonderful to be giving back an ounce to nature, which is just a speck in the magnitude of what she has always been giving us.

Going back to the carrot milkshake...I have always believed in the essentials of breaking the monotonous diet routine of my child. Imagine having plain milk or milk stirred with Bournvita, Complan, Boost or even sugar all the time. Why don't parents "have-a-go" with such mindless routines? Try simple variations. Here is what is cooking in our kitchen today.

For carrot milkshake you will need,
6 medium sized carrots
Sugar as per taste
1/2 litre milk
2 pods of cardamom
Some scoops of Vanilla ice-cream (do-able even if not available. I have some in the freezer. Ideal compliment for my recycling mood)

To make,
Peel carrots. Cut into thick round slices.
Pressure cook with 2 pods of cardamom and little water to slightly immerse the carrot slices. Cook to make the carrots soft.
Once cooled, put it in a blender. Add sugar, milk and give it a nice mix, till all the carrot pieces have blended with the milk.
Add Vanilla ice-cream and give it another mix to give it a thickness.
Serve chilled.

Try even other alternates with banana, papaya and mango of course!!

Some afternoons are more busy than the others...

You seem to assume of a child's energy levels.

Afternoon naps are 'a thing' of the past. A past that is not that distant.

Now afternoons are the most busiest among all the waking hours. With full tummies. Revitalised energies. Creative juices over flowing most of the time.

Here's a glimpse of what's been happening over the few afternoons gone by.


A quick make-shift tent. A space that was called "my home". Cooking toys. Cycle. Dogs. A complete set-up.

Some mind-filled and brain users: learning numbers and counting with jig-saw cards from Mickey Mouse Club House format.



How can art and craft be left out? Since Sia is so obssessed by the spelling of her name and knew to spell it out as S-I-A, even actually before she knew anything about alphabets or phonetics, we made this name dangler. Shapes were being instrumental at this phase in everything we did. So we incorporated it in the design. She was learning to string beads and I insisted on it to build a tad of patience in my child. The dangler had an out-and-out Sia feel.




We used: waste drawing paper, water colours, glitters, string of beads and the sun and air to dry up the paints.

Many more makings are in the way....and ideas seem to pour out. However the afternoon pace seems to have slowed down a bit, especially since Sia has discovered the joy of being with a friend and spending time with play and companionship.

Childhood :: Flashback

"Mama...tell me five children names in your school?" asked back my 3.4 year old, when asked the same question as part of her weekly home assignment. I promptly answered with five top of mind names from my childhood. These were names of my friends, with whom I am still closely connected and bonded. The question has been repeated several times over the weekend....and I have run short of names. Not just because she does not want to hear the same names. It is because...I sadly do not remember any more names.

I have always, always been the impatient, anxious "parent-in-wait", especially when it was with my daughter starting school. Because, here was my chance to relive my childhood and revisit my memories - all over again. But I guess, I wasn't all this prepared to take in the heart-break. While it is the names that I didn't remember, what troubled me most, unfortunately there were no faces either I could think of. So, I decided to re-sketch my last classroom seating. Realised, it was perhaps the worst crime I ever did to my memory.

Thankfully, social networking sites are coming to my rescue. I have been looking for my childhood friends and classmates. Trying to reconnect and recreate the magic of our childhood. To have a blast with the past. Like the other day, my friend from college mentioned, "it was wonderful chatting on Facebook - and, let's keep it alive!" Obviously we have rediscovered ourselves. I realised the medium has helped kill all inhibitions and even look at pain-filled memories, with a smile. More importantly I know I have grown-up.

So, while I still look forward to doing my daughter's assignments, I wonder what my revisits have in store for me?

Vertical living

This is the place I am glad I am living in, during this phase of my life.

I am talking about the community where we live. An apartment complex of two blocks with about 100 flats. My co-residents and we have been branded "quiet and dull" by a new occupant who, my friend brands in return as "beer-earning, champagne-drinking".

This is my first apartment, "vertical" living experience. At the start of it, over 4 years ago, I was the most apprehensive to live in an apartment. I have gradually learnt to appreciate such living. It is the best way-of-life, especially when you have a child.

Here though each day is stereotyped, there is pure joy and warmth in the pattern it follows. I don't see much of the mornings since I am not an early riser. But I know there is the walking, exercise-conscious, yoga doing folks. Of course no to mention, the li'l souls who wake up earlier than me and chirp me up just with their voice (I am not adding "already loud") on their way to catch a school bus. The officer goers...I belonged to that bunch till some time ago. The maids, security, house-keeping...yes, yes...all same-to-same...nothing different.

Just like all things you put your seal on, has to be the "best" or at least competing to get there, I think so too about my community. True to myself, I know I have learnt to respect, love and feel belonged with a fast growing sense of responsibility for this community only of late. And I already have memories by the dozen.

Like most things that get co-related these days and find a way to reach my baby...I have to zoom in on my child and my community. We have piles of children here. My child is one among them. She has literally grown among all the children. Having her favourites at different points in her life. Because of this, she now has friends from all ages. This is the perhaps the awesomest thing that could have happened to a child this young. If anything that can beat this sensation, every child treats her - his/ her age appropriate. Not the other way round. This has enhanced my child's thinking calibre a great deal. This has introduced her to sharpening her social skills.

The openess of accepting people as they are is what I have seen and learnt to practice from this community. My child today spends most of the evening hours at a friend's place. This is after park-time. She has had every dinner at her friend's all of last week. This is something that I did when I was little. I never thought it would be possible in tall, monsterous, urban spaces. Now my child's friend's mother even knows her likes and dislikes along with her own child's. I simply cannot resist the high with circle of life forming all over again.

I look forward to each day with the same eagerness as my child does. She longs to come back home after school or any outing. I think this is a precious feeling. This is the place where my child has her treasure trove of memories. So it really doesn't matter if as grown-up we are "quiet and dull" my new fellow resident...the joys that my child unravels each time she heads to the park, is more brighter than a kaleidoscope of colours.

Discovered

Discovered something sensational under the cushions on the living room seatie.

Creations made by our baby sitter on her day with Sia, while we were at work.

A girl and an intricate motorcycle made from clay/play dough.

My most heart warming moment of the day!!!

That's the two of them and "Taj didi's" (as she is called by Sia) creation.

Welcome home

Welcome home Nemo and Churnip. Nemo and Churnip came home on 11th July 2010. These goldfishes are our first pets since Sia was born.



Nemo and Churnip of course, most certainly named by the proud care-taker, Miss Mathew have been a wonderful team in teaching my three year old a few things about being a grown-up. Firstly, bringing the pets home was a collective decision. She has been asking for a pet. But, we didn't want to repeat a mistake, by buying something which she was not yet ready for.

Sia made her own choice of choosing gold fishes over turtles. She selected the fishes. Though was made aware of the options to select from. I think, it is essential to start as early as possible, to allow a child to make their own decisions and be responsible for the choices they make. With Nemo and Churnip a small beginning has been made.

The other responsibility Sia has, is to take care of "her" fishes. So, has to feed them, ensure the water filter is working, lights are put on in the evening and water is kept clean from toys, paper and putting hand inside the tank. The little child has completely taken me by surprise by diligently following the rules, well almost.

In her high of taking care of Nemo and Churnip, she over fed them. And her dada taught her the need to maintain cleanliness in the fish tank. She participated in cleaning the mucky water and proudly showed off her pets to her friend this evening. With a series of warnings being blurted out as if the poor pets were exhibits. All warnings of course, is the drop-down menu of "Don'ts" that have been told to her.

I think, my little one is growing up. She has been a wonderful care-taker, home-giver to her pets. In just 3 days, for her to run off in the middle of a Tom & Jerry story to see "if my fishes are alright" - I guess has somewhere ignited the basic human instinct of being responsible for your choices in my child. Welcome to Sia's home - Nemo and Churnip!

The fabric of life

Have you ever discovered the true joy of cross-cultural marriage?

Out here, it has created a super weave with multi-colour hue of culture, religion, tradition and most critical element of it all - a cuisine blast!

One such explosive recipe is "papa-mummy meen curry". This is not what it is called otherwise. Its plainly called "meen curry". I mean how boring, especially when there is such a delightful story behind the recipe. "Papa-mummy" are my parents-in-law. "Meen curry" is fish curry.

Hailing from the "mal-land" - Kerala, this recipe was discovered by papa from a local food stall (commonly known as "kada" in Malayalam, meaning "stall") which are permanent spots in the Kerala landscape. Papa simply wanted another variation to his regular meen curry being made at home. Being the gentleman who has worked (by the way papa still is a working professional in the Life Insurance business) all through his officially prescribed work years, papa enjoys the simple joys of life, especially his food. When he discovered this new taste, he could not stop going to the kitchen of the kada and humbly asking for the recipe. There was no way he could be refused. He has such a pleasurable, non-intrusive and definitely non-threatening personality. I am quite sure he would have made the chef feel like the most sought after chefs - worldwide.

Armed with a new version of the meen curry, a happy papa passed on the recipe to mummy. Now, mummy is someone who has always done everything and more for the 3 men in her life (her husband and two sons. I am married to the youngest of her sons). And she still does. That is mummy. A math teacher all her life, she doesn't care much for frills in life other than enjoying life itself in all honesty.

So, going back to the recipe - she obviously made it and enjoyed the discovery. Since then, the meen curry has been this. It has passed on to our dining table as well. And all those who have eaten from our home, swear by the curry and make an attempt to make it. Marvellously, the taste varies. But the contentment after having "papa-mummy meen curry" is a sense of immeasurable joy. When I share the story behind the recipe, the smiles and blissful look I see in others is amazing.

This is the fabric of life we adorn. The true sense of relationships coming to life. A traditional recipe is a mere represent of the otherwise way of life. Whenever you feel like living the moment, and value our life and the moments in it, try the "papa-mummy meen curry".

For "papa-mummy meen curry" you will need:

500 grams: Seer fish (deskin if preferred)

A handful of sambar onions (small onions/ Indian shallots)

Peeled garlic (as per liking)

A piece of ginger (small enough to let out the flavour)

Curry leaves

Green chillies (optional, if spice is preferred)

Kerala tamarid (pulli)

One tomato (coarsely chopped)

Mustard seeds

Methi seeds (dry roasted and coarsely powdered)

Red chilli powder

Turmeric powder

Eastern fish masala

Coconut milk

Salt

Water

Oil

How do you make it?

Crush the sambar onions and garlic in a pounder. Keep aside.

Oil the meen chetty (the traditional earthen pot) and warm it on low flame.

To this, add oil and splutter the mustard seeds. Then add curry leaves. Follow it up with the crushed onions and garlic. When slightly transparent, add the ginger, slit green chillies and saute for a bit.

Now add the salt, turmeric and red chilli powders. Cook the masala powders well. Once done, add the Eastern fish masala. Make sure the fish masala is not over cooked. Else will the loose flavour.

With oil leaving the sides, add the Kerala tamarind and chopped tomatoes. Mix it well.

When well cooked, add water and bring to a boil. To this add the seer fish pieces. Cook till the fish is done or is firm. Add the methi powder. Give it a mix.

Finally, pour in the coconut milk as per taste and thickness required. Give it a slight boil.

For an authentic Kerala twist in flavour, drizzle some coconut oil on top at this point.

Serve with boiled rice, authentic-traditional curd curry ("more curry"), papad, one vegetable side dish and fish fry.

Because you both will like this gift

"It is nothing much as a return gift, but I am sure Sia and you will love it", said my friend as she gave Sia the return gift on her daughter's second birthday. She was right. Both Sia and I truly enjoyed the gift because we like stuff that helps us do alternative things with it. The gift Sia got was wooden animal stencils - elephant, monkey, rhino, giraffe, camel and a lion. She was 2.8years when she got the gift and didn't serve the real purpose until a few days ago.

A small discipline called "school" has done a world of difference to my child. It is a home school. The exposure Small World (that's what the school is called) has given in its first three weeks is invaluable. It has only further added to my otherwise unruly yet imaginative child's energy and spirit. Recently, I saw her use a ruler, a pencil to make lines. I was amazed and impressed. The credit had to go to Small World, because we have never used a ruler like the way she did. That's when I knew it was time for the stencils to make an entry.

From the very first touch, cut, glue and paste of art 'n craft, Sia has had a free flow. She was two when we started. I wanted her to have that canvas space to enjoy watching creation come alive. While I sat along and did the real art or craft work. She observed and learnt the techniques. She enjoys co-creating and has a sense of pride and ownership towards all that has been done this far.

This time was no different. A little grown up with just about an ounce increase in patience. Many outlines were drawn. I still play my usual part. And this....is what we co-created.

For our animal cuts dangler, we used: wooden animal stencils, reused paper (which was printed on one side), golden felt-tip pen (because I didn't find anything else), scissors, punch (all the holes on the animals are punched by Sia), gold colour twine, some beads and couple of stars (from our Christmas ornaments).

Stamp it!!

My now 3 year old had developed a fascination for stamping a while ago. Every visit to any store or restaurant, she would look for the seal stamp and ink pad. Guess it is the wonderment of seeing a block of print or the action of dip, wham and voila - an image appears...

Today my search ended with Stamp It!!! Surely, it is not one of the finest or the most 'curiosity-killer' kind of an option. But, it serves the purpose and recreates the same joy. However I realised, Stamp It actually is multi-purposeful. That is, if you can see it.

The set we got is one with fruits and veggies. It has about 14 stamps, one ink pad, a set of colour pencils and a book. We not only stamped and coloured. We learnt to colour by coordinating it with the colours on the toy box cover. After we were done, we invented a way of putting the set back as well.

We picked up each stamp, called out the name of the fruit or vegetable. We identified a row each for veggies and for fruits. We put the stamps in the dedicated row. We learnt to separate fruits from veggies. We learnt to match the row to the fruit or veggie. We learnt to count. One toy, so many learnings.

One of my "recent" friends (I refer to her as recent since we became friends only because of our respective mommy-hoods) earlier today had stressed her point of view on, how while in parenting it is necessary to give a child and expose from the very beginning to more than one perspective to any situation, as much as you can. According to her, it makes the child sensitive in all ways. I respect her views. In a way, she voiced my style of parenting. In a way, she stamped a print of joy in me, which comes from being reassured that you are doing "alright" with being a parent, while parenting.

Just a few captured frames

The event: Father's Day.

The mood: Driven by extreme craziness to make something for dada.

The guide: Spirit guided by the pure joy of cutting, gluing, sticking, pasting, making and creating a card for dada.

The thought: Single minded, engulfed by a creative expression of capturing every single thing known in this world - traffic signal lights, colours, shapes, a butterfly, a caterpillar, blah blah - though there wasn't enough space for it on the card.

Materials used: Self made water colour blotted tissue, buttons, wodden doll, glitters, cereal carton, crayons, pen, glue, scissors and lots of patience. Yes - plentiful of this one is needed.

Making time: Just about half hour is much too much to ask. Because any second after that gets consumed by the anxiety to see the creation take shape.

The outcome: A proud dada not just on the dedicated day - but for a very, very long time!!