Its the beginning of winters

Winter has slowly started creeping in our city. It surely is reflecting in our home.

Winter blast is evident in our balcony. A misty morning transpiring into a sun bright, clear sky. A wonderful canvas filled with multi colours painted by flowers. Touch of green coming from home grown fresh spinach. The pleasure of plucking a few leaves to make a salad or a quick paratha for my little rascal gives a total high. The most nicest thing however are the chirping birds interplaying with a few odd butterflies. Each time a bird chirps and lands in our balcony, Sia believes its building a nest which will have a few eggs. Which is promptly followed by the unfolding of a million stories. Living in an apartment does not seem to be that bad when you see Sia enjoy the morning winter sun muching away her biscuits...

All in all...a perfect winter has just begun. With fesitivities kicking in..cannot wait to enjoy the winter chills.

Couple of our kitchen recipes using home grown spinach or palak:

Palak raita (goes best with biryani)

Wash the palak leaves. Slice them into thin fine strips.

Heat oil. Add to this some grains of Urad Dal and 2-3 dry red chillies.

When coated with oil and well done, add the sliced palak.

Give it a mix and add a pinch of sugar and salt as per taste.

Saute on high flame for a couple of minutes. Allow to cool to room temperature.

Add this mixture of palak to well whipped curd or yoghurt.

Palak paratha (ideal quick lunch)

Finely chop palak, onions, ginger and green chillies.

Mix well and knead into dough with salt as per taste.

(Hint: you could add a teaspoon of warm oil while kneading to the dough to make the parathas softer)

Make parathas as you know best!

Recipe courtesy: Pema maai (Sia's eldest aunt and my eldest sister)

One of the 'Durga'

This Dusshera had more substance for Sia. She was one of the 'Kanya' or 'Balika' at a co-resident's Balika Pujan done during 'Navratri'.

Associated with the Durga Puja, this puja is performed only by married women. The 'Kanya' or 'Balika' is considered a reincarnation of Goddess Durga who personifies knowledge and wisdom for the entire universe. Worshipping young girls (caste no bar with this one) is held in high esteem in Hindu scriptures and the place of such a worship is believed to be sanctified.

My brief awareness and knowledge of this custom began 'n ended with this basic awareness, that the puja is performed on the ninth day of Dusshera. No other significance was known to me till now. Why do I then want to know more now?

In this stage of life with parenting, I want to Sia to become aware and realise the magnificient festivals and their celebrations we have - only because we are INDIANS. Yes, she knows we live in a country called India and we are called Indians. So why not begin this festive season by 'inducting' her into an entire world of joy, happiness, colours, sparkles, mithai and all that is just so WOW!!

So...I read up as well as gathered information from my fellow resident on the significance of why Sia was one of the Durgas? The puja is essentially performed for the Goddess to bless you with happiness and prosperity. One of the information thread mentions each of the nine days has its own significance in terms of rituals, puja, offering (prasad) and gifts for the Balika.

On the ninth day, the day Sia was invited, the puja for 9 Durgas was performed. It started with washing of feet, applying the teeka, seeking blessings (by touching the feet of the young girls. This had another young Durga rightly question the reverse of what is happening being taught: of younger people touching the feet of elders) giving a dakshina (in cash), a dupatta, a silk bag with fruits and serving the traditional bhog consisting of puri (dough kneaded with milk), kala chana, kheer (made with rice and milk) and dry fruits. This puja marks the end of nine days of puja and signifies the custom of seeing off the Goddess back to her home as a young girl.

Sia taking the Durga avatar seriously before the puja and an excited little balika after the puja with her goodies.

While all this was being thoroughly enjoyed by a highly enthusiastic and involved Sia, it made me realise that I have unlocked the next level of being a mother. A level wherein the need to belong becomes supreme. A need to belong and be part of something - be it a culture, family, activist group, friend circle, music band, library, anything - anything which defines who we are and gives us an outlook. I am taking the course of culture this time, to give Sia an experience which will not just give her nostalgic memories, but will also give her the foundation to belong.

I believe in the spirit of every festive season. This spirit translates itself to joy within oneself and smiles everywhere you see. Being a by-product of cross-religion marriage, Sia and the likes of Sia have those many more options to know more and celebrate much more than I did.

Now begins the wait for Diwali...another story to be unfolded.

A lots been happening

Unexpected discipline has hit us all here.

"School hours" have settled in as part of weekly schedules. Dedicated "park hours" have come in. So have "mama work hours".

A lots been happening since the last time I wrote for myself - in my time, in my space and lived my thoughts. While this post might just be a photologue with a few captions trying to bring out the experiences, I am thinking, should I OR shouldn't I write? But eventually I am....

First stop, finally saw Beauty and the Beast, 30th Anniversary 3D at a multiplex. Thankfully the glasses fitted this time and most of the movie was seen with glasses on! My little miss critic rated it as "the best-est scariest movie ever". It was true in a way. What a lovely tale to teach your child about the "not-so-good" things about being "bad". Without much time-loss, I used the story and its message to settle down a few unacceptable behaviours. It has been working. And "Beast" still rules on the mind.

Amongst all the other things, Sia touched a milestone age: 3.6 years. Wow!!! Can I hold her back for a while longer. Please. But the joy of "becoming big", "growing tall", "see I can put on my pants by myself" are so lovely...that I cannot seem to stop those from happening as well. Its a "helplessness" position of being a mama. How I don't seem to like it. We had a home picnic to celebrate the occasion with two inseparable friends - Adu and Aditi with some puffs and cakes. The munchkins of course, were unaware of the celebration.

All this growing up comes with the "big-school-admission-mania". Too many options. Even more opinions. Not to mention hearing horror stories like one parent having spent Rs. 10,000/- on school admission forms. Each school charges on an average Rs. 500/- for an application. One can calculate how many forms the parent would have picked up. Call us optimistic or just confident or even silly parents....we have a short list of 5 schools and we are doing the needed. Now its wait 'n watch with which school we will get through.

It is first "big" holiday break since Small World started in June. It is Dassera time. Sia is doing her first vacation co-curricular programme on Multiple Intelligence at another school called "Genie Kids". The programme aims to expose all the eight levels of intelligence - visual, musical, social, logical, verbal, intrapersonal, naturalist and bodyily kinesthetic intelligences in a child (http://geniekids.com/holidayprog/intelligence-camp). She seems to be enjoying this complex sounding programme with unmatched ease, making new friends and looking forward to school reopening.

With a two-wheeler scooter coming in, our aimless wandering is only going to be on the rise. Looking forward to doing more outdoor adventures within the city. The most awesomest reaction to the bike was creating a song which is an anthem of sorts that goes like this,

Me and my mommy, riding on the bike-y, riding on the bike-y all day!!

Me and my mommy, riding on the bike-y, riding all over the town!!

Next on the agenda is to christen the two-wheeler.

Continuing the momentum of "the happenings", looking forward to Diwali. This year surely promises to be eventful. With Gmama coming over during the festivities, the celebrations will be cracker-filled.

We are growing up. And real fast!

Cannot believe, Sia is now an older child. Cannot believe, we are senior parents. We now have a few junior parents friends and Sia has smaller babus to look after. Already?? We have changed our status? Already?? Really??

"Mama, dada look at me, I am growing bigger and taller." Do I want to listen and respond to this dialogue with the same zeal and enthusiasm? Do I find it super thrilling? Honestly, cross my heart...no!! Logically...that's life - real-time.

My most painful acceptance of Sia growing up, is leaving behind all these moments, which are slowly converting into memories. I am not ready yet, to have these moments as memories. This is THE LIFE that I have known for the last 3 years, 5 months and 8 days (can you see how crankily precise I can get?) I cannot see her as a little girl or a teen or a young woman. We are speaking of another distant era. It is not even in a near future, to imagine and romance.

Another thing about growing up is the mania of SCHOOL ADMISSIONS. We are in the race right now of school hunt, admission forms, fees, distance, CBSE, ICSE and some other terms which didn't figure in my life. I don't get the frenzy. Why is it a big deal? Why do we need to have a drop down list of schools to apply to? Why is it that birth month and date of my child suddenly a deciding factor of her life? Why is it that where we live, an issue for the school? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? And we think only a child can question and bug you with their innumberable and lethal "whys?" I don't think any logical answer will calm me.

These related issues come with growing up. It is nice to know Sia is still unaware of these while she is on her way to becoming a big girl. But soon she will be there. Cos we are growing up. And it is real fast. Add to it, the pure joy of self acknowledgment that "I am a big girl now...I am growing up real fast.." While I don't want to take away the high coming from this sense of self guarantee....all I want to say is, "slow down a bit my gugu baby...I am not ready to grow up as a mama to my little baby."

Revelation

Ok...so I am a 'not-so-nice' mama at times. And I don't want to hide that either. I have my bad moods and temper which get complemented with equally bad, if not worse reactions to my child's 'unacceptable' behaviour.

Last evening after another episode of 'unacceptable' behaviour from my child, I realised that I had confronted the truth of not necessarily being the 'always-happy', 'always-bumming-around' mama who can be walked all over without much thought. Mind you, I quite like that position. I chose to get to the zenith of it. But, it was absolutely necessary for me to rock my own boat. That I am also the 'not-so-nice' mama! I could finally say it to myself and accept it more to myself than necessarily to my child, to her dada or to the world. Let me reveal...I felt wonderful. It was like a whiff of fresh air.

The new morning dawned today. My child didn't show any signs of recalling the episodic tantrum or its side-effects. But I had slightly carried it forward to the morning. Not feeling nice about it, especially since I could not touch the essence or purpose of my life, I pondered. Till I hit upon the definition of my core emotion...'it is OK to be not-so-nice'. There is nothing more or nothing less about that statement. It is just that! Its parallel existence and realisation is what is necessary for me personally to groom myself to grow into a mama my daughter will be happy to have around.

Me a recycle junkie!!

I am recycle junkie!!! I have realised. And I intend to pass on the tradition to my child as well. I am very happy to see streaks of it already present in her, from the seed that has been sown by doing art and craft with biscuit cartons, wrappers, unused side of a printed paper, straws, tissue roll....name it - we have tried it, used it and enjoyed it.

Got some lovely orange carrots the other day. My instant reaction was to make some yummy carrot milkshake. One of my favourite drinks growing up. It is one of the 'firsts' I learned to make all by myself. Now I make it for Sia. She enjoys it too. Thank god for that!

The recycle story begins as I start to make the carrot milkshake. As I peeled the carrots, I realised the peels went into a separate bin - where we collect our "daily wet waste" for our community organic compost. I kept aside the carrot heads to reuse and sow. Perhaps I can harvest some home-balcony-grown-carrots. I am sure Sia would love to recreate the Hundred Acre Wood in her own home. I recycled yogurt cups to sow the carrot heads and some spinach. It feels wonderful to be giving back an ounce to nature, which is just a speck in the magnitude of what she has always been giving us.

Going back to the carrot milkshake...I have always believed in the essentials of breaking the monotonous diet routine of my child. Imagine having plain milk or milk stirred with Bournvita, Complan, Boost or even sugar all the time. Why don't parents "have-a-go" with such mindless routines? Try simple variations. Here is what is cooking in our kitchen today.

For carrot milkshake you will need,
6 medium sized carrots
Sugar as per taste
1/2 litre milk
2 pods of cardamom
Some scoops of Vanilla ice-cream (do-able even if not available. I have some in the freezer. Ideal compliment for my recycling mood)

To make,
Peel carrots. Cut into thick round slices.
Pressure cook with 2 pods of cardamom and little water to slightly immerse the carrot slices. Cook to make the carrots soft.
Once cooled, put it in a blender. Add sugar, milk and give it a nice mix, till all the carrot pieces have blended with the milk.
Add Vanilla ice-cream and give it another mix to give it a thickness.
Serve chilled.

Try even other alternates with banana, papaya and mango of course!!

Some afternoons are more busy than the others...

You seem to assume of a child's energy levels.

Afternoon naps are 'a thing' of the past. A past that is not that distant.

Now afternoons are the most busiest among all the waking hours. With full tummies. Revitalised energies. Creative juices over flowing most of the time.

Here's a glimpse of what's been happening over the few afternoons gone by.


A quick make-shift tent. A space that was called "my home". Cooking toys. Cycle. Dogs. A complete set-up.

Some mind-filled and brain users: learning numbers and counting with jig-saw cards from Mickey Mouse Club House format.



How can art and craft be left out? Since Sia is so obssessed by the spelling of her name and knew to spell it out as S-I-A, even actually before she knew anything about alphabets or phonetics, we made this name dangler. Shapes were being instrumental at this phase in everything we did. So we incorporated it in the design. She was learning to string beads and I insisted on it to build a tad of patience in my child. The dangler had an out-and-out Sia feel.




We used: waste drawing paper, water colours, glitters, string of beads and the sun and air to dry up the paints.

Many more makings are in the way....and ideas seem to pour out. However the afternoon pace seems to have slowed down a bit, especially since Sia has discovered the joy of being with a friend and spending time with play and companionship.

Childhood :: Flashback

"Mama...tell me five children names in your school?" asked back my 3.4 year old, when asked the same question as part of her weekly home assignment. I promptly answered with five top of mind names from my childhood. These were names of my friends, with whom I am still closely connected and bonded. The question has been repeated several times over the weekend....and I have run short of names. Not just because she does not want to hear the same names. It is because...I sadly do not remember any more names.

I have always, always been the impatient, anxious "parent-in-wait", especially when it was with my daughter starting school. Because, here was my chance to relive my childhood and revisit my memories - all over again. But I guess, I wasn't all this prepared to take in the heart-break. While it is the names that I didn't remember, what troubled me most, unfortunately there were no faces either I could think of. So, I decided to re-sketch my last classroom seating. Realised, it was perhaps the worst crime I ever did to my memory.

Thankfully, social networking sites are coming to my rescue. I have been looking for my childhood friends and classmates. Trying to reconnect and recreate the magic of our childhood. To have a blast with the past. Like the other day, my friend from college mentioned, "it was wonderful chatting on Facebook - and, let's keep it alive!" Obviously we have rediscovered ourselves. I realised the medium has helped kill all inhibitions and even look at pain-filled memories, with a smile. More importantly I know I have grown-up.

So, while I still look forward to doing my daughter's assignments, I wonder what my revisits have in store for me?

Vertical living

This is the place I am glad I am living in, during this phase of my life.

I am talking about the community where we live. An apartment complex of two blocks with about 100 flats. My co-residents and we have been branded "quiet and dull" by a new occupant who, my friend brands in return as "beer-earning, champagne-drinking".

This is my first apartment, "vertical" living experience. At the start of it, over 4 years ago, I was the most apprehensive to live in an apartment. I have gradually learnt to appreciate such living. It is the best way-of-life, especially when you have a child.

Here though each day is stereotyped, there is pure joy and warmth in the pattern it follows. I don't see much of the mornings since I am not an early riser. But I know there is the walking, exercise-conscious, yoga doing folks. Of course no to mention, the li'l souls who wake up earlier than me and chirp me up just with their voice (I am not adding "already loud") on their way to catch a school bus. The officer goers...I belonged to that bunch till some time ago. The maids, security, house-keeping...yes, yes...all same-to-same...nothing different.

Just like all things you put your seal on, has to be the "best" or at least competing to get there, I think so too about my community. True to myself, I know I have learnt to respect, love and feel belonged with a fast growing sense of responsibility for this community only of late. And I already have memories by the dozen.

Like most things that get co-related these days and find a way to reach my baby...I have to zoom in on my child and my community. We have piles of children here. My child is one among them. She has literally grown among all the children. Having her favourites at different points in her life. Because of this, she now has friends from all ages. This is the perhaps the awesomest thing that could have happened to a child this young. If anything that can beat this sensation, every child treats her - his/ her age appropriate. Not the other way round. This has enhanced my child's thinking calibre a great deal. This has introduced her to sharpening her social skills.

The openess of accepting people as they are is what I have seen and learnt to practice from this community. My child today spends most of the evening hours at a friend's place. This is after park-time. She has had every dinner at her friend's all of last week. This is something that I did when I was little. I never thought it would be possible in tall, monsterous, urban spaces. Now my child's friend's mother even knows her likes and dislikes along with her own child's. I simply cannot resist the high with circle of life forming all over again.

I look forward to each day with the same eagerness as my child does. She longs to come back home after school or any outing. I think this is a precious feeling. This is the place where my child has her treasure trove of memories. So it really doesn't matter if as grown-up we are "quiet and dull" my new fellow resident...the joys that my child unravels each time she heads to the park, is more brighter than a kaleidoscope of colours.

Discovered

Discovered something sensational under the cushions on the living room seatie.

Creations made by our baby sitter on her day with Sia, while we were at work.

A girl and an intricate motorcycle made from clay/play dough.

My most heart warming moment of the day!!!

That's the two of them and "Taj didi's" (as she is called by Sia) creation.

Welcome home

Welcome home Nemo and Churnip. Nemo and Churnip came home on 11th July 2010. These goldfishes are our first pets since Sia was born.



Nemo and Churnip of course, most certainly named by the proud care-taker, Miss Mathew have been a wonderful team in teaching my three year old a few things about being a grown-up. Firstly, bringing the pets home was a collective decision. She has been asking for a pet. But, we didn't want to repeat a mistake, by buying something which she was not yet ready for.

Sia made her own choice of choosing gold fishes over turtles. She selected the fishes. Though was made aware of the options to select from. I think, it is essential to start as early as possible, to allow a child to make their own decisions and be responsible for the choices they make. With Nemo and Churnip a small beginning has been made.

The other responsibility Sia has, is to take care of "her" fishes. So, has to feed them, ensure the water filter is working, lights are put on in the evening and water is kept clean from toys, paper and putting hand inside the tank. The little child has completely taken me by surprise by diligently following the rules, well almost.

In her high of taking care of Nemo and Churnip, she over fed them. And her dada taught her the need to maintain cleanliness in the fish tank. She participated in cleaning the mucky water and proudly showed off her pets to her friend this evening. With a series of warnings being blurted out as if the poor pets were exhibits. All warnings of course, is the drop-down menu of "Don'ts" that have been told to her.

I think, my little one is growing up. She has been a wonderful care-taker, home-giver to her pets. In just 3 days, for her to run off in the middle of a Tom & Jerry story to see "if my fishes are alright" - I guess has somewhere ignited the basic human instinct of being responsible for your choices in my child. Welcome to Sia's home - Nemo and Churnip!

The fabric of life

Have you ever discovered the true joy of cross-cultural marriage?

Out here, it has created a super weave with multi-colour hue of culture, religion, tradition and most critical element of it all - a cuisine blast!

One such explosive recipe is "papa-mummy meen curry". This is not what it is called otherwise. Its plainly called "meen curry". I mean how boring, especially when there is such a delightful story behind the recipe. "Papa-mummy" are my parents-in-law. "Meen curry" is fish curry.

Hailing from the "mal-land" - Kerala, this recipe was discovered by papa from a local food stall (commonly known as "kada" in Malayalam, meaning "stall") which are permanent spots in the Kerala landscape. Papa simply wanted another variation to his regular meen curry being made at home. Being the gentleman who has worked (by the way papa still is a working professional in the Life Insurance business) all through his officially prescribed work years, papa enjoys the simple joys of life, especially his food. When he discovered this new taste, he could not stop going to the kitchen of the kada and humbly asking for the recipe. There was no way he could be refused. He has such a pleasurable, non-intrusive and definitely non-threatening personality. I am quite sure he would have made the chef feel like the most sought after chefs - worldwide.

Armed with a new version of the meen curry, a happy papa passed on the recipe to mummy. Now, mummy is someone who has always done everything and more for the 3 men in her life (her husband and two sons. I am married to the youngest of her sons). And she still does. That is mummy. A math teacher all her life, she doesn't care much for frills in life other than enjoying life itself in all honesty.

So, going back to the recipe - she obviously made it and enjoyed the discovery. Since then, the meen curry has been this. It has passed on to our dining table as well. And all those who have eaten from our home, swear by the curry and make an attempt to make it. Marvellously, the taste varies. But the contentment after having "papa-mummy meen curry" is a sense of immeasurable joy. When I share the story behind the recipe, the smiles and blissful look I see in others is amazing.

This is the fabric of life we adorn. The true sense of relationships coming to life. A traditional recipe is a mere represent of the otherwise way of life. Whenever you feel like living the moment, and value our life and the moments in it, try the "papa-mummy meen curry".

For "papa-mummy meen curry" you will need:

500 grams: Seer fish (deskin if preferred)

A handful of sambar onions (small onions/ Indian shallots)

Peeled garlic (as per liking)

A piece of ginger (small enough to let out the flavour)

Curry leaves

Green chillies (optional, if spice is preferred)

Kerala tamarid (pulli)

One tomato (coarsely chopped)

Mustard seeds

Methi seeds (dry roasted and coarsely powdered)

Red chilli powder

Turmeric powder

Eastern fish masala

Coconut milk

Salt

Water

Oil

How do you make it?

Crush the sambar onions and garlic in a pounder. Keep aside.

Oil the meen chetty (the traditional earthen pot) and warm it on low flame.

To this, add oil and splutter the mustard seeds. Then add curry leaves. Follow it up with the crushed onions and garlic. When slightly transparent, add the ginger, slit green chillies and saute for a bit.

Now add the salt, turmeric and red chilli powders. Cook the masala powders well. Once done, add the Eastern fish masala. Make sure the fish masala is not over cooked. Else will the loose flavour.

With oil leaving the sides, add the Kerala tamarind and chopped tomatoes. Mix it well.

When well cooked, add water and bring to a boil. To this add the seer fish pieces. Cook till the fish is done or is firm. Add the methi powder. Give it a mix.

Finally, pour in the coconut milk as per taste and thickness required. Give it a slight boil.

For an authentic Kerala twist in flavour, drizzle some coconut oil on top at this point.

Serve with boiled rice, authentic-traditional curd curry ("more curry"), papad, one vegetable side dish and fish fry.