I think, I am not an anxious parent. I was not worried or bothered about how my baby would deal with school, strangers, crying. I was not unhappy or insecure about my baby going off to school. I have been eagerly waiting for her to start school and belong to our world - to enjoy it in all ways... So, there I was at the last step of where I was comfortable being. But, it was not the same morning I felt the morning before. It would never ever be.
My baby has actually spoiled me - rotten! It is always the other way around that we so often hear people complain about. But it is true that I have been spoiled. I have gotten used to a way of life because of her. A life that was (yes - was) free of care, filled with unplanned adventures, bustling with things-to-do, sometimes even a job list which ran longer than which I had while I was working...It was not supposed to be like that any more.
Now, I need to change it all over again because of her. How many more detours will my life take? Please, I like to remain spoiled. Look at all the hard work I need to do, to ensure that my life has no more disciplining. But I cannot seem to run away. I got to do it. It is my moment of truth.
One day, three years ago she arrived. One day, three years and two months later, she has changed my life in three days. I am in a new level of being a parent. Wonder how many more levels are there in this playing field? I hope to remain the not-so-anxious parent for as long as ever can be. That, I do not want to change even for the magic wonderment of my life, who is my baby.